Busy is not an appropriate answer to the question 'how are you?' + 3 steps to break the busy habit

So it goes a little something like this…it’s 5.30ish pm, you have just finished work and as you rush into the supermarket to grab something, probably only mildly nutritious, to slap in the oven for dinner because you have so much to do when you get home, you are already spent, the kids will most likely be behaving like kids and need things from you, and the noise of your busy day is still rattling around in your head when you bump into a mate:

‘Hey, how are you?’ 

‘Oh my goodness, I’m so busy, you?’ 

‘Tell me about it, also super busy!’ 

‘We should catch up soon….’

‘Ah yes love to, if I can ever find the time!’

Throw in an exaggerated sigh or two , an eye roll, an awkward shuffle as you struggle to juggle your hodge podge variety of dinner items, a smile and then off in opposite directions you scurry.

Sound familiar? Notice anything weird? Nope all sounds pretty legit right?

Here is the thing…Busy is not actually an answer to the question ‘How are you?’ …not technically.

It just doesn’t make sense, yet the majority of us say we are busy when asked how we are. 

Busy is an adjective - a doing word. So many of us are doing busy, so much so, we have reduced our ability to connect with how we are actually feeling.

Busy has become a badge of honour, a kind of club, a bright shiny beacon-y word to remind us how important our lives are, how important we are, how much we are achieving on a day to day basis at work and at home.

Busy can be a reason too. 

A reason… to not call your sister, to not have a coffee with a friend, to not spend time laughing with your special people, not exercise, not go to yoga, not breathe, not rest, not sleep, not follow through with tasks… not play!

But, if we have busyness, then surely we have connected, fulfilling and meaningful careers, family and social lives right? Surely we should be proud of our busy badge, pin it triumphantly on our chest?

Actually, busyness, fuelled by the online over promotion of hustle culture is doing more harm than good. We are more exhausted, stressed out, overwhelmed and burnt out than ever before. Our busy habit is not serving us and it’s tough to break so here are 3 steps to get you started:

STEP 1: Schedule in some downtime - a real deal, proper break…and then commit.

This article from Psychology Today, advocates for taking ‘true’ downtime, not just a five minute break, to help you reflect and assess if you are engaging in chronically busy behaviours. Without carving out a decent chunk of time, you may find yourself leaning back into those busy habits. So slow down in a way that feels ok for you. It may not feel comfortable at first but schedule in the time anyway. An hour or two, a whole day or a whole weekend (I dare you :)) Treat it like a MUST ATTEND appointment in your calendar. Do not change this time. Commit to the booking and then lean into the discomfort.

STEP 2: PLAN SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANT TO DO OR EXPERIENCE

It doesn’t matter what the actual thing is that you plan, it needs to be something that resonates with you as something that will help you slow down. As a yoga and meditation teacher obvs I would advocate for starting a yoga practice of your own (you can find a couple of free ones on youtube) , signing up to a class, course or intensive workshop or retreat, but there are loads of other things that might work for you. A camping trip or night away somewhere fancy, a guided bush walk or long stroll on a beach, indoor rock climbing, take a surfing class, find a hammock and read a book or write in a journal, rest, breathe, play - it’s up to you. Find something that trumps your busy and lock it in.

STEP 3: Show up

Ok, so that seems like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised how many people actually commit to booking in time for themselves then, for whatever reason, do not show up. There are loads of reasonable reasons why not showing up might be something that happens for you, but the challenge here is to take one reason off the table - the reason of being too busy. The definition of insanity according to Albert Einstein, is: ‘doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’ Take a deep breath, unpin your busy badge and show up my friend. Show up , slow down and start to rediscover a deeper connection to yourself, your priorities and yep, how you actually feel!

Breaking the busy habit takes time, patience and practice. But when we lean into the desire to beak it, we create space for authentic relationships, fun times, calm and clear thinking and a whole lot more joy.

Stay fabulous

Kerry x.

P.S I have some exciting offers in the pipeline which will help you to eliminate the hustle and rediscover play and rest as the new ways to sustainable success in work and life…look out for our special introductory offer and bonuses exclusive to those of you in the VIP Village.

Not in the Village yet? There is still time to get yourself signed up below :)